1st Prize: £100.00 Chris Tucker
2nd Prize: £75.00 L. Hinton
3rd Prize: £50.00 Kathy Jones
Never a Truer Word
By Chris Tucker
Kenny traced his hand over the car bonnet lovingly. His dream car, sleek and classy, just like him, he thought puffing out his muscles. He had been surprised when ex girlfriend Jade had agreed to let him keep the car. It was a classic after all but she had begged to keep their pedigree chiwawah, mangy pet! He snatched the keys out of her hand lest she change her mind and went to give her one final squeeze, trying to ignore the way that she visibly shuddered when he touched her. Oh well! Her loss.
He clambered into the car and felt the superior bodywork almost mould itself around him. They were a perfect match. He grinned as he pressed his foot to the floor on the accelerator pedal and went screeching off, narrowly missing the dog. As he sped off down the road at high speed, he glanced back in the mirror and saw his ex, mouthing obscenities at him. Good riddance to the whining and that went for the dog too!
Kenny knew he was going way too fast down the S bend road and the adrenalin washed over him, in his mind’s eye, he was a champion racing driver, admired by scantily clad women and shrieked with excitement as he handled the car round the tight bend. Suddenly, a tractor appeared on the tight bend and he panicked, jerking the steering wheel left. Feeling the momentum take him flying to one side, he burst through the wooden fence and drove straight into the biggest pile of dung he had ever seen. As his lovely convertible filled up covering him in manure, he remembered Jade’s last quip to him, ‘You really are the biggest sh*t ever and right now, she was right!