Humorous Poetry Competition Winner
We asked for humorous poetry submissions with a maximum of 40 lines and we were inundated with some fantastic poems. It was a difficult decision but here are the winners and as usual we have published the overall winner.
1st Prize: £150.00 Cal Winters
2nd Prize: £100.00 D. Stewart
3rd Prize: £75.00 MaryBartlett
The Teenage Pain
by Cal Winters
There he goes again, stomping mud across my floor
If he does it one more time, I will boot him out the door
Whatever happened to that gorgeous little babe?
I never expected a life sentence dedicated to being his slave
My son, all spots and dimples, 17 but not quite a man
Yet around the town, girly crushes and a base of growing fans
His hair is never brushed, he sleeps from midnight to noon
Yet, one little wink from those baby blue eyes, and the girls are all a swoon
His music rattles through the house, and he head bangs at every chance
His skinny little torso creates a drooping of his pants
Every day he checks for chin stubble and a hair upon his chest
Results in macho man, and a triumphant wearing of his vest
His muscles are non-existent, arms dragging ape-like across the floor
His stomach is a bottomless pit and yet still he pleads for more
I long for peace and quiet and the day that he will leave
But now he is off to Uni, and I am left to grieve
I know it’s not the end and my son will soon be back
With tales of woe and his washing to unpack
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